Encouragement: make children like themselves
Early childhood is the germination and development period of self-assessment. Positive and positive encouragement. A safe and warm family and social environment will help young children form high self-assessment, which in turn will lead to low self-assessment.
Children with high self-assessment are more adept at solving problems on their own, like to communicate with the outside world and participate in group activities. They are willing to abide by the rules of the game and are confident and happy.
Children with low self-evaluation are unwilling to try new things and often say negative things, such as “I can’t”, “I’m too stupid”, “I’m wrong again”, etc. They easily give up the opportunity to work hard and wait for others’Help, easy disappointment, and emotional stress.
I have seen such a girl who has aggressive behavior and emotional shifts. She cries, laughs, and is sometimes angry and disappointed. She replaces toys and pays attention to keeping them for a short time.Parents and teachers are putting a lot of pressure.
After analysis, it turned out that her main problem was low self-assessment.
Long-term probability assessment makes her hostile to everything, and this hostility leads to self-assessment of her, and the vicious circle changes the self-assessment value.
There are many strategies to improve your child’s self-assessment.
Parents can send positive and positive messages to their children in various ways, such as “You are important to us”, “You are lovely”, “We like you”, “You are amazing”, etc., and you can also hang photos of your children at home.Certificates; choosing the appropriate child’s age and gender clothing; a large number of appropriate positive praise; timely and accurate feedback on the child’s behavior; providing children with a variety of life experiences and so on.
In addition, parents must first make a positive role model to improve their self-assessment.
Parents should give their children enough time and love to replace their emotional needs.
At the same time create a warm and safe home and learning environment for children.
Parental divorce or domestic violence has a great impact on a child’s self-assessment. Children sometimes blame their parents because they are unhappy for their own reasons.
Properly encourage children’s parents. Most of today’s parents pay great attention to protecting their children’s self-esteem, but I don’t know if their parents admit that inappropriate encouragement speech can also destroy children’s self-confidence.
There may be something here that sounds right, but in fact, words of encouragement that are not good for children’s growth, hope to get enough understanding of parents.
Tingting returned from kindergarten, frustrated her little friend was “too selfish”.
Wrong answer: Mom fully understands how you feel.
Naturally, you want to tell her that her mother understands her and wants her to know that feelings of anger and sadness are normal.
However, comfort like this is more likely to irritate the child. The child will think that you say that he is experiencing normal things. Her discomfort or even calm down, it is likely that she will not tell you anything in the future.
The right approach: Start by asking some simple questions, understand the whole process and details of the matter, and let the child feel that he is better understood than simple comfort.
Xiao Tao had just played with his buddies, but went home and claimed: “I don’t like Daming at all.
Wrong answer: “You can’t say that, Daming is a good boy.
“You just don’t want your child to blame others too much. You want your two children to get along well.
However, it is not right to tell the child how to “like” others at this time. This is tantamount to easily denying his judgement on his small partners, which may inhibit his ability to judge people and develop interpersonal relationships in the future.
The right thing to do: Recognize that your child doesn’t like another child for his reasons.
Let’s talk to the child and ask him, “Then you’re not happy today?”
What happened to Daming to you?
What did he do to make you unhappy?
What are you going to do next time you meet him?
“Encourage your child in this way.
5-year-old Ma Jing said, “Today I paint in class, and the teacher praises me.
“Wrong answer:” You are the best.
“If you always encourage your child with words like” the prettiest “,” cutest “, and” most capable “, you will unknowingly put too much pressure on your child.
It will make children’s expectations of themselves too high to bear.
Moreover, when the child compared with her companion, she found that “Lingling runs faster than me” and “Lulu sings better than me”. She gradually realized that she was not better than everyone else.
Psychologists have conducted a survey and found that blindly exaggerating praise can lead to self-doubt and make the child unsure.
Only praise and encouragement that is properly in line with the facts will really be good for your child.
The right way: Don’t praise children unrealistically.
“Today is beautiful” is suitable for many years than “You are the most beautiful”.”This story is really interesting” is more reasonable than “Your story is the best in the class”.
When the parents quarreled, Jia Qi, 6 years old, heard it, and the mother wanted to explain to the child.
Wrong answer: “I want you to know what mom and dad are arguing about this afternoon.
“In this open age, we sometimes let children know too much.
Some parents think that if children know the ins and outs of the quarrel, they will not think about it.
Yes, children will be scared and upset when they hear fierce quarrels with their parents, but it will bring greater harm to the children if they tell everything about the adults.
In their little brains, they feel that life is as chaotic and fragile as they see on TV and movies.
The two of you may think that the fierce quarrel is just a little ups and downs on the long road to marriage, and the child will immediately jump to the worst state: our home is about to fall apart, and my parents do n’t want me.
Correct way: Tell your child that father and mother were too angry just now, this has nothing to do with him.
Because when I heard my parents were arguing, the first thought that the child jumped out was whether the quarrel caused me?
Will parents be reconciled?
Then, give your spouse a simple hug or a joke in front of the child, so that the child can be assured that the alarm is lifted.
Fangfang came back from kindergarten unhappy because her companion laughed at her having a garlic nose.
Wrong answer: Your nose is pretty, and mom likes you like this.
The mother was just comforting the child and telling her that she loved her no matter what she looked like.
But this is actually telling the child that what she is worried about is true.
In fact, two- or three-year-olds started to pay attention to their looks.
At the age of five or six, they would compare with others, and then they would refuse: “My face is too dark.
“Am I too short?”
“It may make him doubt his judgment, and he will use the criteria you tell him to see the people around him.
He may also feel that you do not understand his sorrow, and you will hold the unhappiness in the bottom of your heart, stop talking to you, and appear psychological obstacles in the gradual socialization.
Correct way: If the child finds that he doesn’t look good, first ask him if he is comparing with whom.
Then discuss with him to see if you can help him.
If the child feels that he doesn’t believe he is tall, he can tell him that everyone has a beautiful place. If he really wants to be taller, he can be encouraged to play basketball and learn to swim.
Of course, sometimes we ca n’t do anything about the frustration of the child. In this case, you can understand his discomfort and don’t ignore it.
6-year-old Shan Ling heard the teacher say that smoking is not good, came back and asked if you had smoked.
You replied no, and he asked in disbelief, “Really?
“Wrong answer:” I never lied to you.
“You say this to win the child’s trust, but tell the child” never and never lie to him “or something like that, in the future, it will be easy for the child to grab your handle and no longer trust you.
Correct way: “Dad is ready to be honest with you.
“The next time he finds out that you are telling a good-faith lie, you have a chance to explain, telling him that sometimes it’s just good intentions.
“Dad knows that today’s food is not delicious, but grandma spent a lot of time preparing it. I don’t want to make her unhappy.